The internet has backed a Redditor who is uninviting their “overbearing” parents from their wedding after they ruined their sister’s special day.
In a post shared on Reddit on Tuesday, under the username u/InterestingKnee4176, the spouse-to-be wrote that their parents have “huge personalities” and “steamroll everyone who gets in their way,” and that at their sister’s wedding, they were “especially obnoxious.”
The Redditor wrote: “They made terrible speeches, got the DJ to play crappy music for the ‘older folks’, tried to get the photographer to do family pictures for people not in the wedding party ‘since they [were] here anyway and everyone is dressed up’. I could go on. But I won’t.”
According to The Knot, when it comes to wedding etiquette, guests should behave graciously and socialize responsibly, adding that “the last thing you’d want to worry about is having to make amends the next morning for ruffling feathers.”
Before finalizing their decision, the Redditor had a conversation with their parents, asking them to behave at their wedding, but they refused, saying that it was who they are and they won’t change for anyone.
Soula Hareas, a licensed mental-health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that not having your parents at your wedding seems like the worst thing in the world but, truth be told, it happens more often than people think.
Hareas said: “Adult children of overbearing parents have difficulty setting boundaries with them. Sometimes, it’s so bad that major life events like weddings are when adult children can’t take it anymore and take a stand.
“There is a lot of history with this family. It sounds like these parents have overstepped their boundaries throughout their daughters’ lives. The sister’s wedding was just the final straw.”
According to Hareas, things that seem meaningless to some people like music choices are a big deal to the bride because she envisions her wedding being a certain way. And although unexpected things always happen at weddings, and stopping her parents may not stop someone else from behaving in a ridiculous way, the parents should respect the child’s wishes.
“The parents need to follow her lead because a wedding day doesn’t get a do-over or ’let’s try it again,’” Hareas said. “Things are going to go wrong that day. They always do. The parents need to be stress-relievers in this situation, not triggers for stress.
“That being said, creating boundaries comes with consequences. Yes, it is the bride’s day, but if her family members think she is being too harsh, then she should not be surprised that a consequence of her setting boundaries is that family members side with her parents and not attend the wedding.”
The post has gone viral, receiving more than 7,400 upvotes and 1,100 comments so far.
One Redditor, Hungry_Try_9859, commented: “Nobody asks them to change, just behave like decent human beings.” And Sailor_Chibi posted: “To behave like decent human beings for one night. And they can’t even do that.”
Diminishingpatience wrote: “You are who you are so isn’t it unfair to expect you to change for any reason? You have made a good decision. After the wedding, they can hold their own party where they can be loud and obnoxious [to] their appreciative guests. Have a lovely day without them.”
Another user, TheGroggyGrunt, commented: “I’m sorry, and no disrespect to your parents, but anyone who responds to a request to be considerate of you and your guests at your wedding with “this is just who we are” has got their head up their a**.”
Newsweek reached out to u/InterestingKnee4176 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
