The Original Poster (OP), known as u/GrandEnergy1521, posted about the incident in Reddit’s popular “Am I The A**hole” forum where it received 10,700 upvotes and 2,800 comments. The post can be found here.
Postpartum Depression
According to the Office on Women’s Health, an estimated one out of nine new mothers experiences PPD.
PPD can begin up to one year after giving birth and can be caused by changes in hormone levels after birth.
During pregnancy, estrogen and progesterone are at the highest and drop back to pre-pregnancy levels in the first 24 hours after childbirth.
Thyroid hormone levels can also drop after childbirth, which can lead to low energy and symptoms of depression.
Individuals suffering from PPD often report feeling tired, overwhelmed, anxious, feeling like a “bad mother,” doubts, and feelings of grief about life before the child.
Treatment options for PPD include psychotherapy and various medications such as antidepressants.
‘AITA?’
In the post titled “AITA for asking my daughter in law to seek help?” the OP, said her 30-year-old son’s wife has always been “a little off.”
She said her daughter-in-law, 29, is “shy and awkward” and prefers to be on a computer rather than be outdoors. Since the OP and her husband enjoy being outdoors, they said they “clashed” with each other.
“She’s always been nice and in the beginning of their relationship she participated in a lot of our activities even if she wasn’t great at them,” the post read.
Recently, the OP’s eldest son was diagnosed with autism which she said was a “hard blow” for the family. She said her daughter-in-law comforted her eldest son after the diagnosis.
“She said she also felt awkward and weird at times and that it was ok to be ‘different,’” the post read. “I suspected maybe she meant this as a way of telling us she was on the spectrum too.”
‘Even More Awkward’
Two years ago, the OP’s son and daughter-in-law had their first child after experiencing a miscarriage. But the OP said after birth, her daughter-in-law became “even more awkward” around them.
Recently, the OP invited them all over for the Fourth of July and noticed her daughter-in-law insisted on working on her computer inside while her husband played with their kid outside.
“I asked her what she was doing in front of the screen all the time and she just told me she was catching up on work,” the post read. “This just seemed off to me because why wouldn’t she want to play with her husband and kid outside?”
The OP said she and her husband shared their worries about their daughter-in-law “not participating” in their grandchild’s childhood and that she was “leaving it all” to their son.
“After dinner (yes, there were drinks involved) I went away to do the dishes and I heard raised voices,” the post read. “When I came back to the table DIL was crying as my husband was telling her off quite sharply. He said some things that might have been a bit harsh but nothing untrue. She stormed off crying instead of discussing the issue further.”
The OP said she tried to “talk down” the situation and said they were worried about her, their daughter, and her relationship with their son.
“This is when I told her I think she should seek help/counseling for autism as I figured that was why she was struggling with motherhood,” the post read. “She was extremely offended and told me she was not autistic but suffering from PPD.”
After the conversation, the couple packed their bags and quickly left before unfriending both the OP and her husband on Facebook and blocking them from messaging her.
“They haven’t spoken to us since. Our son is apparently furious according to his brother,” the post read. “We can’t reach out to explain our side of things now that we’re blocked. Both of us meant well and it came from a place of worry for our grandchild. AITA?”
Redditor Reactions
More than 2,800 users commented on the post, many defending OP’s daughter-in-law for getting offended by OP’s comments.
“Yes. Obviously. YTA (You’re The A**hole). You jumped to conclusions,” one user commented. “It sounds like she’s just introverted, but you automatically assumed autism because she comforted your other son? You’re a busybody and your husband made your son’s wife cry. Actions have consequences. Your actions cut you off from your son and grandchild. Deal with it.”
“I don’t think that your son is going to give your husband another chance to play tipsy narc with her or you another chance to go right behind him tearing her down some more,” another user commented. “Good for them. YTA in every conceivable way.”
“I’ll add in that it’s bizarre that you’re so concerned about the fact that your son was playing with his daughter without the wife/mother involved. Seriously?” another user commented. “One event and you think this happens all the time? Is her dad not supposed to play with her?”
“Someone doesn’t like doing the things you do and prefers to stay indoors?? Oh no, someone has to catch up on work while they’re on vacation??? They must be on the spectrum!!” another user commented. “I hope your DIL and son go nc with you both.”
“Just because she doesn’t share the same interests as you doesn’t mean she’s a little off,” one user commented. “She’s awkward and shy? She must be autistic? There are people who are introverts who aren’t on the spectrum. That’s their nature.”
Newsweek reached out to u/GrandEnergy1521 for comment.
Other Viral Posts
In another viral post from Reddit’s popular “Am I The A**hole” forum, a couple was slammed for telling a new mother struggling with PPD that she needed to be a “good mom.”
Another man was slammed online after revealing that he expects his wife to care for their newborn baby in the middle of the night. In one post, a woman was backed for lashing out after labor.
