Sharing his story with Reddit’s “Am I the A*****?” (AITA) forum on January 4, user u/ThrowawayNZ1997 explained that he and his wife purchased the house a few years ago. They brought in two roommates to help pay the mortgage, and until recently, the arrangement worked fine.
However, his wife recently found out she is pregnant. Despite opting to stay in the house share, their child-free roommate Kaitlin has been making “snide remarks” about the future baby. After ignoring their requests to stop, the couple asked Kaitlin to leave, leading to a blow-up.
Fellow Redditors unanimously backed ThrowawayNZ1997, with the post receiving over 6,000 upvotes and more than 1,000 comments.
‘Make the Choice That You Want to Make’
Elizabeth Fedrick, Owner of Evolve Counseling and Behavioral Health Service, said it’s normal for friends and relatives to disagree with someone’s life choices.
Although there is nothing wrong with having varied opinions, expressing disagreement in a demeaning or disrespectful manner can make it an issue.
“While people are most certainly entitled to their own opinions, they are not entitled to being rude or condescending,” Fedrick told Newsweek.
If your loved one shares their opinion in a respectful way, Fedrick said the mature thing to do is listen.
“Thank them for their thoughts, and then make the choice that you want to make,” she said.
However, if this person is insulting or refuses to drop the subject, then it’s time to set boundaries.
“This might include removing ourselves from the conversation and/or the entire relational dynamic, depending on the severity of the situation,” Fedrick said.
‘Absolutely Insane’
In his post, ThrowawayNZ1997 explained that one of their tenants, a 32-year-old woman called Kaitlin, is “vocally child-free.”
“It’s not constant, but when something child related comes up she will interject without fail,” he said.
Three months into the pregnancy, the couple told Kaitlin and their other roommate Alex about the baby. That way, they’d have time to find another house share if they didn’t want to live with a newborn.
Both Alex and Kaitlin said they wanted to stay since it’s a nice house in a good location, but shortly after the announcement, Kaitlin began to make inappropriate comments.
“Things like she should get a discount on rent for putting up with a baby, she’s not going to get any sleep with a baby in the house, we should have told them we were trying etc,” ThrowawayNZ1997 wrote.
He had a word with Kaitlin and asked her to stop, but she continued, with her remarks becoming “more frequent and rude.”
“[She called] us selfish for bringing a child into the world, saying our social lives are going to be over, etc.,” he said.
After a few months, the poster was fed up with Kaitlin’s attitude. He discussed the issue with his wife, and they decided that Kaitlin should go. As she hadn’t signed a formal contract, they were legally within their rights to ask Kaitlin to leave, but they did give her a month to find somewhere new to live.
“Kaitlin is throwing a hissy fit saying I’m being unfair. That since she pays rent she should have a say in the direction of the household, and that we were selfish for having a kid without even telling flatmates,” he said.
“Alex is on the fence, though has expressed that I’m being a bit unfair to Kaitlin. Wife has said she fully supports me, though she’s less annoyed by her behaviour than myself if I’m being honest.”
Reddit users felt that Kaitlin was in the wrong. In the poll attached to the post, they voted her “the a******.”
“The idea that she should have a say in your family planning choices is unhinged,” said EGrass.
“Renting a room in someone’s house does not give you the right to dictate how they choose to live!!” agreed Betrayed_Orphan.
“I’m child free and I hate children, but I would just start finding a new place with the advanced notice. She has almost 6 months to move,” wrote Harmonia_PASB.
“What is she even aiming for here…” asked Numerous-Fox3346. “To snide comment and bully you into a termination?! Absolutely insane!!”
While goldilaughs commented: “You are [not the a******] for requesting she leaves.
“She will only make your lives more miserable and the stress of having a baby is enough in itself.”
Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowawayNZ1997 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
The poster isn’t the only one to share his roommate drama with the internet. A woman who tried to bully her roommate into moving out so her fiancé could move in was recently slammed by Reddit users, while one former roommate took “passive-aggressiveness to the next level,” stealing the door off the house’s shared washing machine as she left.
Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowawayNZ1997 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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