NEWSWEEK: What would you say to the families of the Virginia Tech victims? Darrell Scott: I had a hard time breathing all day because my chest tightens and the anxiety sets in, and it just brings back memories of what we went through eight years ago. It’s just a terrible, terrible situation. But I hope these parents can be aware that there are thousands of parents like them out there, like me, who stand with them silently and invisibly and support them with our hearts and whole being.
What helped you cope with the loss of Rachel? For us, the thing that was most effective was each other and our friends. After the healing process had begun, we got through it by cherishing the memories and celebrating the lives of those who’ve been lost. There’s a big hole in my life that can never be replaced. But by celebrating Rachel’s life, we’ve been able to keep her legacy alive. And through our program, I’m seeing lives touched and changed by it every day.
But can you ever truly recover from something like this? In Columbine there were students who didn’t even see the action take place who are still going through depression and other struggles, so it’s not easy. My son was probably the biggest emotional victim of Columbine: he lost his sister, he was covered in the blood and body parts of his friends while he was crouched in the library watching everything happen. And he still struggles. But he made the choice to celebrate his life and his sister’s, and not to live in the past.
Why do you think this continues to happen? Are we fueling a culture of violence? I’ve said for eight years that the responsibility lies with all of us. When I was a child, they didn’t allow the extreme violence to be so widely available to young people the way it is now. Unfortunately, today people can go to the Internet and find out how to make bombs. We’ve got artists and musicians who glorify suicide and homicide. We’ve got videogames being mimicked after Columbine. And you’ve got extremely violent movies. It’s no secret that when people are exposed to extreme violence and become angry, it triggers something. And if they have access to a weapon, the combination of all of that can be pretty volatile.
This was the second incident at Virginia Tech this year. Do you think there was more the school could have done to prevent this? Unless there were warning signs from this man, there’s really not much anyone can do. If someone is suicidal and wants to take out a bunch of people, and there are no warning signs, metal detectors or armed guards aren’t going to stop that person. And unless we turn our schools into prisons, there’s only so much we can prevent.
So how can we try to prevent these rampages? The best way to prevent violence is to demonstrate kindness and compassion. Many times, if you look at the lives of killers, there’s been rejection in their lives. That’s no excuse for what they do, but if we could simply show everyone around us compassion and kindness, though we may not know it, I guarantee we will be making a difference.
School shootings always spark debate over the availability of guns. What’s your view on gun control? I spoke before Congress about a month after the Columbine tragedy and I said then that I didn’t think gun control in itself could solve this—and I say it now. Eric and Dylan broke dozens of laws to do what they did at Columbine, and unfortunately, if a person is determined to kill, and they don’t care whether they live or die, they’re going to find a way to do it whether or not they’ve got easy access to a gun.
You speak at a lot of schools. What can school administrators do to quell anxieties among students and parents about these kinds of attacks? We can choose to live our lives in fear, but the truth is we can’t predict the future. We have to choose to live life fully. If we walk in fear it just becomes a never-ending cycle.
Is there any good we can take away from this tragedy? When tragedy occurs it reawakens people. But we also so quickly forget. If anything good comes out of something so horrible, I think it’s how sacred life really is. If we could just live with that understanding.
